After two 7 hour long flights and a total of 24 hours in transit, Anna and I arrived at our resort for TT a couple of hours ago. I am shattered. Out of the 16 hours I spent sitting down during that 24 hour period (we also had a 2 hour bus ride from the airport to the resort – I promise I can do basic addition), I think I only slept for 3. Oh well, good practice for the exhaustion that lies ahead, I suppose.
Our journey was pretty drama-free. Flights ran on time, our baggage made it, the number of screaming babies was kept to a minimum, and Anna and I sat side-by-side watching “Inside Out” together and both teared up at the end. Sorry if you didn’t want me to share that, Anna, but it was a good moment. I do enjoy a good cry whilst watching a Disney/Pixar film.
And at long last, here I am in my hotel room watching silly videos on Youtube and eating peanut m&m’s because I’m very hungry and there’s nowhere to get food at this time of night. My roommate isn’t here yet, so I’m on my tod… Lonely, yes. A little bit. I must admit it doesn’t fill me with joy to think that Boyfriend is attending a family wedding this evening and will no doubt have a bloody good piss up with everyone whilst I’m sat in a hotel room by myself suffering from horrendous jet lag. But I am nonetheless looking forward to the nine weeks that lie ahead of me.
24 hours of sleepless travelling does afford a lot of time to meditate on things, and I went through quite the mental journey regarding my feelings about teacher training. I went from being excited to nervous to upset to angry and, finally, to being simply at peace with whatever may be about to happen. My thoughts wandered off in this arc because my brain started juggling around all the rumours I’ve heard about TT over the last few months. I started to worry how I would cope with it all; whether I would get ill or absurdly homesick or simply fed up. I went off on a whole train of thought for a while regarding Bikram’s ban on the colour green during training (you cannot wear ANYTHING green or that has bits of green in it). It made me angry because I started to realise that a lot of the yoga clothes I have happen to have bits of green in them here and there, and I came to the realisation that I’d probably have to buy more clothes here in order to avoid being called out by Boss or getting into trouble. Which, of course, set me off on thinking how ridiculous that was considering all the money that has already been poured into this whole thing.
I started dwelling on how sleep-deprived I would get and how ridiculous it is that we’re apparently going to be forced to stay awake until all hours of the morning watching Bollywood films, and how that might mean that I end up getting very ill. The injustice of it all (please note I use the word “injustice” ironically here) started pissing me off gradually through the first flight and into the first quarter of the second.
But then I had another realisation – and this is one that I sincerely hope those of you who find this blog when you’re considering whether to go to TT yourselves will pay attention to:
None of that matters.
At the end of the day, I’m here for nine weeks. This is what I’ve signed myself up for. Bikram runs this programme, so his rules are the rules, and if I let my – admittedly, dominant – rebellious side get the better of me, I will only get myself in trouble and land myself in extra Saturday classes. I don’t want that. i want to get through this alive, healthy, and, preferably, with a happy, smiling face. I want to fully take advantage of this time to focus on myself, my practice, and on making new friendships that I hope will reach far beyond December 6. You have to pick your battles, and this is not a smart one to pick. So I will put up and shut up. I will be over-tired, I will be homesick, I will have to spend more money on new yoga clothes. Fine. For nine weeks, I can do that.